One of my daughters has a habit of sucking her thumb, mainly at night before going to sleep. Her thumb sucking has caused movement in her teeth and while she still has all her baby teeth, we are concerned that once her adult teeth come through her thumb sucking may cause permanent damage. And so we have been encouraging her to stop.
Her dentist recommended joining a $500 positive reinforcement program to help my daughter stop sucking her thumb, and while it sounded like a great idea, the thought of having $500 sucked out of my wallet was not too appealing. However, the dentist asked my daughter a very important question: “Do you want to stop sucking your thumb? Because we can try helping you in many different ways, but if you don’t want to stop, then nothing will help you”.
Up until this point, I had never thought to ask my daughter this question. I assumed that as she was still sucking her thumb, that meant she still wanted to. However, her answer was “No”.
She didn’t want to suck her thumb at night anymore, but she did not know how to stop.
Last week she was playing outside on her scooter when she fell off and grazed her thumb, and it was the thumb that she sucks on at night. We had to put a bandage on her thumb to stop the bleeding.
That night, she couldn’t suck her thumb because of the bandage. For the first time in her life, she did not suck her thumb at night.
So we tried again the following night. The bandage again prevented her from sucking her thumb.
She was so happy.
For the past 10 days, we have placed a bandage on her thumb at night and this has stopped her from sucking it. Every morning she tells me with excitement, “Mum I didn’t suck my thumb last night!”
There was no doubt that she would stop sucking her thumb, because she WANTED to stop. It was just a matter of finding the best way to help her do this.
The same can be said for becoming unbusy.
I can give you all the tools, the tips, the advice but you have to want to be unbusy. You need to have the desire to stop being busy, otherwise your reality will not change.
Change begins with the willingness to change. The rest will come, and change will happen, but we have to give ourselves permission to change.
Sometimes it is as simple as making a statement to the world about what you want to change. I want to stop sucking my thumb. I want to have more money in my life. I want to find more love in my life. I want to be less busy.
A willingness to change opens up our minds to the possibilities of change. Once we have verbalised the desire to change something, life provides us with the opportunities to make the change happen and reveals endless possibilities and experiences.
My daughter falling off her scooter and hurting her thumb provided us with the opportunity to change her thumb sucking habit.
My change in work circumstances has opened up my mind to the possibilities of other career options and aspirations that I would not have thought about otherwise.
Sometimes the opportunity for change has been knocking on our doors for a very long time, but we have not been open to it. We have not verbalised our desire for change, or we have chosen not to see the lessons that are being taught to us because we have become so busy and caught up in our everyday lives, maybe out of fear?
Do you want to be unbusy? Do you want to find more time in your life? Do you desire more freedom, more life, more happiness? Only you can answer these questions, but answer them out loud.
Tell the world what you desire.
Yell out to the world what you want to change, for when you do, the biggest step has already been taken and the world will guide you down the remaining path.
Change begins with you.