Last week I was given the news that I am being made redundant from my corporate job that I have been working in for the past 10 years, in the banking and finance sector.
Oh no, you’re thinking.” That’s terrible, to be out of a job”. “It is so difficult these days to find employment, especially when the economy isn’t so strong”. “How will she help support her family?”” How will she pay her bills?” ” I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes…”
I was first made aware about the possibility of being unemployed about 6 weeks ago and to tell you the truth, I was shit scared. How would I pay the bills? Put my kids through the school of our choice? Meet our weekly financial commitments? It was a stressful time for me and my family, with my kids seeing a side to their mother that they had not seen before.
First came shock, then denial, then anger. How dare they try to get rid of me. Don’t they realise I have 10 years of skills and experience? I know all the policies and regulations, the products, how to provide the best information for my customer.
During the 6 weeks from announcement of the department restructure to the announcement of my redundancy, I began doing some serious soul searching. I knew that in order to keep some sort of sanity intact and to get through the emotional rollercoaster of employment instability, I had to rely on something other than my mind which tended to wander off into “what if” territory…
I’d like to share with you 3 lessons I learned during my soul searching, and a lot of it relates back to money, or our fear of a lack of money.
1. We can learn to separate fact from “what ifs”. Fact: I will be unemployed in a couple of months. Yes, this will occur, but no I will not be living in poverty as a result. Yes, we may need to rework a few things in our family budget but no we will not be without. Yes, I will be without a job but no, my skills, knowledge and expertise will not be disappearing.
Likewise, when it comes to time, or our feelings of a lack of time, by breaking down the situation into what is actual fact and what is just a “what if” scenario that messes with our minds, helps to put a clearer perspective on a situation. Yes, you have a deadline to meet but no, time is not going to be shortened for you. Yes, there are 24 hours in a day and yes you need to get that job done and yes you do have time.
2. Abundance attracts abundance, while lack attracts more lack. This all begins with the thoughts you carry with you every day, which then translates into your feelings and actions. By focusing more on the abundance in your life rather than the lack, your feelings, attitudes and actions change and with that, you attract more abundance into your life. This includes thinking and feeling that you have all the time that you need to accomplish what you want to accomplish. By thinking in terms of a lack of time, you will always find yourself lacking time and being caught up in your busyness.
If I was to focus on thoughts of not having enough money, not being able to earn more money, not being able to find a job, not being able to get out of a feeling of negativity and despair then guess what- I will continue to attract lack into my life. This does not mean that if I start saying to myself everyday that I have a million dollars that a million dollars will eventually appear in my bank account (although it would be lovely!), but if I focus on the fact that at any given moment I have everything that I need in my life, I will feel abundance and therefore will continue to attract abundance. My life is abundant with love from my family, love within myself, happiness, a sense of gratitude, time, skills and knowledge that I can share with others, good health.
3. By trusting that the best outcome for everybody always occurs, I can have trust in the present and future, that everything will be okay regardless of whether the outcome I want eventuates or not. Sometimes we are fixated on what we think we want and need, yet a situation may pan out quite differently and it isn’t until much later on that we realise that what eventuated was indeed exactly the best thing for us.
How we react to life changing events can influence the next direction our lives take, however by becoming more mindful of the reality of a situation and accepting the thoughts and feelings that we initially experience and then changing our thought system to one that is more trusting of life, we will notice a shift in mindset. We will begin to experience life from a different perspective, one that allows us to accept whatever happens to us and trust that it was the best thing to happen in that point in time, even if we don’t see it until weeks, months or years later on.
I wait for the next stage of my life to unfold, and accept that my job redundancy is the best thing that will happen to me in a long time. Although I am not sure exactly what will come next in my career and life, I trust that whatever lessons I need to learn and whatever door I need to open will appear at the right moment.
And that’s the beauty, and mystery, of life.